Am i really any good at hiding my sadness? (not like it matters). It might be that it's obvious to everyone how miserable i am, and yet they simply don't care. Why is that? Have i worn down any remaining sympathy in them? Am i unapproachable? I shoot myself in the foot repeatedly, the bystanders feel sorry for me, but they keep their distance because the fact remains that i am a lunatic holding a gun.

Could that be it? I really have no idea how i'm seen in the eyes of others, and i'm too afraid to ask. It's best not to bring it up and try to remain positive, right? Do i feel worthless? Most definitely. Is it my fault? Can i really expect anything more? I am the recluse hermit living under the bridge, a background character who has lost the plot. There is no reward at the end.

I will at least be thankful that i have food on the table and a place to live.