Nobody seems to realize the extent to which i suffer. I'm very good at concealing my pain. And when my mask falls, do i truly look sad, or do i just look disgruntled or flat? No matter what happens, i'm rarely able to cry. Even when i'm sad, and i want to cry, i simply can't. It can feel as if the tears are dammed up to the brim og my eyesockets, but they just wont fall over the edge no matter what.

Once in a few years there is something that unlocks a part of me i've hidden inside me, a long forgotten memory, and the tears are suddenly allowed to flow. In the process of burying my heavy soul i have partially lost my own humanity. I believe i'm contorting myself into something inhuman in order to function.